Having put some thought into it, I think all I've ever really wanted was for someone to tell me that in a terrible world it's okay to feel terrible. See, a lot of people just don't want to admit that life sucks, because they try hard, and that's what counts, right? .Wrong, oh, and fuck you! That's right, I fucking said it, it will never matter how hard you try and as a great coach once said, winning is the only thing that matters.
I've had this great turn around lately and things have been going pretty well, everyday is a step forward, but I honestly couldn't tell you if forward is the right direction. Some people who know me will say that at some point I lost my compass, others, a larger more observant group if you ask me, will say I just never had one.
The only thing I have ever wanted to do was tell people things. True things, blatantly false things, fantastic things, banal things, heart warming things, and blood chilling things. I've been working a lot lately and haven't had the time I'd like to keep this site updated, and I'm sorry. Posting will continue to be scattershot until I get some proper backup here at work, but I'm still not fucking dead. See you again soon Internet.
-James
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