Morals and Zombies: a play in three acts.

Act 1:

Narrator: Johnny was a rockstar, and he liked his fangirls something fierce. Johnny's fangirls liked him back, and because of that they did some questionable things for him.

Johnny and Fangirls are sitting on a bed, surrounded by drug paraphernalia.

Narrator: The drugs were just the start, they also had deviant sex and worshiped the devil. Johnny believed that these things were responsible for his success and wasn't likely to stop. One day things just plain went wrong.

Johnny and a fangirl are in the throws of passion. A large "SNNNAP!" sound effect is placed in panel over the back of the girl's head.

Narrator: Johnny didn't know what to do or who to turn to, local law enforcement would blame him for sure. He ran to the room where he and his fangirls would hold their satanic rites, lit a single black candle and prayed for guidance.

Johnny kneels down, black candle in hand.

To be continued...

This idea got stuck in my head after watching that short film last weekend. This is my, mostly silly, take on the concept and since I can't draw for crap this is what you get instead.

-James

COMI...What?

Not a comic this week, but a short film.

At last weekend's Fan Expo I picked up a short film on DVD called The Last Days of Rik Mortis. According to The New York Times blurb on the cover it's a "glam rocker-meets-zombie morality tale." Maybe I'm just jaded but I saw very little in the way of a moral.

While this wasn't exactly what I was expecting I was none the less amused. The Last Days of Rik Mortis is a mildly entertaining look at what is likely the result of a lot of drugs on a paranoid mind, god bless those revenge zombies that live in my head.

Here's where the official website of the production company redirects to.

-James

Another late tide of filth.

Here goes.

This is great, This makes me laugh. Here's a great reason to keep your jokes to yourself, and Here's a cute one. I'm spent, sorry, now, office is closed, shoo.

-James

The day after Fan Expo.

So, this weekend was exhausting. Since I was busy I don't have a tide for you today.

I'll try and toss something together for tomorrow.

-James

The first day of Fan Expo.

I'm home from my first day of Fan Expo, it is nearly midnight and between today and the previous night's night shift... I'm very tired and will be short. The first day of a convention is a primarily social exercise. You establish your territory, greet your neighbors, locate your friends, and encounter your regulars. This year we've found ourselves with enough space that we're adding a body and planting a flag.

Find us in the games section, tucked away in the back corner, and we will entertain you some.

-James

COMICS!!!!

This week all I got for you is Batman: Dark Victory by Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale. The story revolves around Batman's search for the serial killer Hangman who's crimes are similar the recently released Alberto Falcone, Holiday from The Long Halloween.

Pieces within the story besides grisly murder include Bruce Wayne's floundering early romance with Selina Kyle, a Halloween raid on Arkham Asylum, Bruce's adoption of Dick Grayson after the murder of his parents, and a retelling of his first appearance in costume as Robin.

One of the reasons I tracked this one down was because it and the Long Halloween have been being tossed around the internet as potential sequel material for The Dark Knight. The biggest issue I could see with adapting them is that they require a living Harvey Dent.

Now, out of the office and next time use a coaster.

-James

Another late tide of filth.

Sorry about this, thing is, last week I gave my two weeks notice at one of my two day jobs. My nameless employer decided that meant I wanted a weeks vacation in the meantime. I got distracted trying to enjoy my time off, sorry. So, your tide.

This has had me laughing since it made page one of one of the local papers. This old broad just wins, someone send her a prize. In Turtles And Skateboards news we have this little gem. I'm linking This one for it's top story, but there are some gems buried in there.These Too, I think I like this News of the Weird.

This one comes in under the headline of Fascism, it's another one of those slipery slope cases, how much farther can this go and people will still be fine with it? If it got worse would they even notice? This guy comes in on a lighter note, have a good one, I'm out.

-James

I was out.

I worked 12 hours through the dead of night Friday, I spent the weekend sleeping it off.

Sorry, this has been a bad week for that kind of thing.

- James

COMICS!!!!

I didn't get out again this week and that means I got nothing, sorry, I'm canceling this one. I'll be back here next week with something.

-James

A missed tide of filth.

I got a new computer over the weekend, the time I didn't spend battling with Vista I spent in Warsong Gulch or Arathi Basin, as such I didn't manage to gather you a tide.

I'm sorry, the pickings have been a tad slim lately anyways. I'm gonna let Upl8.tv entertain you for me this week.

-James

I hate shock tactics.

Sorry this is late, to combat this trend I'm widening the post time for the next little bit.

This has, of course, been closed down from further comments because... well, the tactic fucking worked. We were talking about it, now imagine it wasn't a group of high thinking adults simply astonished that someone would stoop so low for out attention.

A while back a friend posted a comment about Pro-Lifer's using a similar tactic on him, in person, while he was on his way to work and like magic I singled PETA(No traffic for you fucks, link your homepage somewhere else.) out. I know they're trying to win support and not friends but if we have any sense we won't give them either, the same goes for the Westboro Baptist Church who are also mentioned in the thread above. You want a reason to hate them? They like to picket things, things they say support the rights of "The Gays". They're a hate group hiding behind a bible.

Now, I'm no biblical scholar, but I'm pretty sure there's something in there about loving each other and letting god sort it out.

We have better ways to learn to get along then scare and bully our way to it. Read a book, listen to someone tell you about themselves and what they believe, DON'T TELL THEM THEY'RE WRONG! Factually wrong is one thing, 2+2 is not 5, but don't be a dick.

Get along.

-James

COMICS!!!!

I didn't get out this week, so here's one from my great big pile of comics.

Transmetropolitan: Tales of Human Waste is a collection of two one-shots and an eight page story from a Vertigo special. I Hate It Here and Filth Of The City are stylized as books collecting articles written by Spider Jerusalem. The most important thing to know when reading "Spider's" writing isn't that he hates you, it's why. He hates you because you love him blindly. He hates you because you're happy staying ignorant. He hates you because you don't want to be more. It's very easy to paint the character in a negative light if you look at his habits. He's violent, he's foul mouthed, he's mentally unstable, and on top of all that he's on drugs. But he's also telling you that you can be more if you care, all you have to do is try.

If we had more journalists like Spider Jerusalem I might read the paper more often.

-James

A great tide of filth.

This is equal parts disturbing and entertaining. I would most definitely label it as not work safe. This made me laugh like hell. Now, Rednecks, Crazy People, and Fat Criminals. This is too funny, I think I'm spending far to much time looking through the strange news. This is ballsy, too bad it's coming from a cat-lady, no one takes them seriously.

I came across This earlier today, I think it speaks for itself.

-James

Sorry for the very late post.

Sorry this is late,

I've been working on a story of sorts, it's medium is... strange and I intend to post it in it's completed form as soon as possible. So, your post.

Worlds of Darkness, Part 4.

Skipping ahead, all of the players were now working together, in theory. During the afternoon the werewolves harassed the cop, who was trying to get the keys to the houses involved in the mystery at the time, while the mage conducted a search of the nearby houses, matching the behavior of several characters, who were missing players, from the night before.

As the sun set the players made their way to the vampire's haven, the mage shared his findings with the Ventrue, who shared the findings of the two vampires who spent the previous night searching. They both learned the same thing, the houses were abandoned with no sign of struggle. Each house had a mage's sanctum in it somewhere. All that really confirmed was that what they'd been told by their respective leaders was the truth, they treated it like a revelation. The Deava notices he's being followed and when his stalkers stop, opening fire on him with machine guns he reverses the car right into theirs. One of the attackers becomes pinned standing up between his own car and it's door, which is being pressed down by the Deava's car. The other attacker stands and opens fire on another vampire, the Gangrel, who is charging at him with two swords drawn.

I asked the player "You're carrying swords?"
GANGREL"Yes."
ME"Two of them?"
GANGREL"Yes."
ME"...and no one noticed, you didn't mention it?"
GANGREL"They're under my coat."
ME"When I asked for a description of your character 'a coat big enough to hide my twin swords.' was not a part of your anwser."
GANGREL"Oops."
ME"So... your charging at him with your swords?"
GANGREL"Yeah, and.."*Dice are rolled*
ME"Okay, he's dead."
GANGREL"Now I'm gonna feed on him."
ME"In the middle of the street?"
GANGREL"I drag him behind the car."

The police officer, werewolves, mage and remaining vampire all gathered on the noise from the gun fire. The Gangrel wiped his mouth and let them know there was another one over with him. The vampires, mage and werewolves all made for home. The police officer waiting to be the first responding officer, having been in the neighborhood on police business anyway.

The vampires slept all day, the mage got up at around noon, and the werewolves got up around one. The police officer slept until five pm, when he got up for work. The werewolves accosted him at the first opportunity. The mage hit the doughnut shop and got into an argument with the the doughnut kid. Seems the kid wasn't aloud to work the cash register and the sandwich station at the same time. Since it would be a health code violation to let the customers make their own sandwiches they were at an impasse. The mage wouldn't accept it, he pressed on. The kid threatened to call a cop and the mage took his business elsewhere. He had some thing alcoholic and something grilled.

This was the night I was waiting for, okay, the Gangrel goes out hunting while everyone else shifts about listlessly. He gets to the bar and asks me, "What can I see?"
ME"Three people out front, two down the alley to the side, the alley is blocked off on it's east side by a chainlink fence, country and western music pours out from the bar."
GANGREL"Are the people out front drunk?"
ME"Yes, the people in the front of the bar are very clearly drunk."
GANGREL"I'm gonna head down the alley and approach the people in it."
ME"The people in the alley are a man in a trench coat and a girl in a short, bright dress."
GANGREL"I grab the girl by the throat and intimidate the man."
*Dice are rolled.*
ME"Take five aggravated damage(What this means will become clear in one second.)."
GANGREL"From what?"
ME"It might have something to do with the muzzle burn on your left cheek."
GANGREL"I intimidated him."
ME"... And he got scared and shot you in the face, the back of your skull is completely gone. Good thing you're a vampire or you'd be dead."
GANGREL"Okay, I let go of the girl and take a swing at the guy."
*Dice are rolled.*
ME"You hit, and then take two lethal damage."
GANGREL"He hit me back?"
ME"No, you let go of the girl, she went at your throat with a knife."

The Mekhet and the mage arrived at the same time, both of them launching themselves down the alley, guns drawn, they each fired once, the Mekhet hit the man and the mage missed and hit the woman.

Sensing things going south the mage decided to hightail it, straight into the responding police officers. He was arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon, he legally possessed the firearm. The Gangrel launched himself over the chainlink fence and used one of his powers to turn to mist and hide in the ground. The Mekhet convinced the police officers that he had vanished into thin air. The man, a drug dealer, was killed in the firefight with police, his girl friend was recovering in the hospital, the mage charged with the shooting.

The campain didn't end there, but maybe it should have, maybe one day I'll tell you all the rest of the story.

-James

Running late again.

Sorry, I'll have a real post up as soon as possible.

-James